Ah Beng in India

Bombay......
Ah Beng was travelling in a crowded bus. As he took out his wallet to pay the fare, his passport-size photograph accidentally fell from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's long sari.

He asked her "Can you lift up your sari? I wanna take photograph"He was beaten up so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital.

He was surprised to see his Singaporean friend, Ah Seng, on the bed next to him, in a worse condition. Ah Seng explained what happened to him. He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the owner whether he can stay there for the night. The owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The owner replied, "I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay". He went to the next house and asked: "Do you have grown up daughters?" The Owner asked, "WHY?????????" Ah Seng replied, "I wanted to stay here for a night....." The next thing he knew, he was in the hospital bed.

The moral of the story is "Words get you into deep trouble,if you don't use it correctly"

Learning Japanese

Learning Japanese

1. How does a broken hearted Japanese call himself?
Hatikukecewa.

2. What does a Japanese say to a girl when he wants to harass her?
Marikuraba.

3. How to call a dirty-minded Japanese?
Otakukoto.

4. How does a group of Japanese boys say when they want to f***
a girl?
Ramaiboleka.

5. How to call a cheap Japanese prostitute?
Pukimura.

6. How does a flat-chested Japanese girl describe herself?
Tetekurata.

7. What does a Japanese man say to a refused Japanese girl?
Maukasika.

8. How does a Japanese man ask a girl if his d*** is small?
Konekukecika.

9. How does a Japanese man invite girl to have sex with him?
Maumainka.

10. How does a Japanese ask if they are hairy?
Adalebatka.

More Sex Jokes

SEX jOkEs

(1)
4 miracles of a woman:

1. getting wet without taking a shower


2. bleeding without getting hurt


3. giving milk without eating grass


4. and making boneless flesh hard.

(2)
A man bumps into a woman and says "So sorry ma'am. If your heart is as soft as your breasts, you will forgive me "
The lady replies: "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I am in room 603"

(3)
Q : How do the Talibans seduce their women?
A : First they attack their twin towers, then they crash into their pentagon.

(4)
Girls reaction to penis sizes:
9" - oh shit pain!
7" - oh yes, yum!
6" - oh perfect!
5" - mmm ok!
4" - push more
3" - is it in?
2" - idiot! Just use your tongue.

(5)
Ever wondered why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A - Airport (flat)
B - Barely there
C - Can do
D - Damn good
E - Enormous
F - Fake

(6)
During pregnancy:
The 1st three months, do it the normalstyle.
Next three months do it the doggy style.
And the last three months do it the wolf style. sit outside the hole and howl.

(7)
What did Newton's dick say to him after seeing a nude woman?
"Fuck you and your law of gravity, I'm going UP."

(8)
Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked 'why?'
He said: "my wife makes me pay $ 100/- for every Fuck!"
Friend said: "you're lucky, she charges others $ 250/-"

(9)
Lady scolds her maid for inefficiency.
Angry maid says, " at least I am better than you in bed."
Lady (amazed): "Did boss tell you this?"
Maid: "No, the driver did."

(10)
What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
"After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."

(11)
A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is 300% impotent.
The doc asks "how 300%?"
She says: "you know about the 100%, and now he has broken his finger and burnt his tongue."

(12)
Teacher: "why buffaloes get depressed after milking?
Student: "Ma'am, if your boobs are rubbed for 2 hours & then you are left unfucked how would feel?

(13)
Policeman arrested a prostitute.
Prostitute: "I'm not selling sex!
Policeman: "Then what are you doing?"
Prostitute: "I'm selling condoms and offering free demo.