Complain Letter

Funny Complaint Letter of a TP student.

Pls pass it around to other poly studentz or sec sch studentz.

Real funny, THIS IS NOT A SPAM!!!



Dear Principal,

Complain on Temasek Polytechnic School Fee lim bei ka li kong, you have charge me with unfair school fee. Lim bei bo join any student union wat 4 charge me wif student union fee! KNN... i attachment outside still charge me internet access fee, ke si ar! Yio siew, u think lim bei rich ar! KNN i work till siao also jus barely make it. Still retain me for 1 sem. u think everyone makin $$ like u all ar. Kaoz...
Econ bad leh... still dun gif discount stay for 3 years liao, discount a bit cannot ar. Ge Gao! i go buy food for 2 weeks auntie oso charge less, somemore i study TP 3 years liao still no rebate. still wan me to pay
extra $$. KNN, next time u try ppl overcharge u lar.

Wa lao eh, last time tt indian principal let us play dai dee in school, u now come liao then cannot play. wat freakin problem u have!!! u cant win in dai dee also cant stop us from playin wat. All work n no play make us dumb students k! u read so much still dunno ar. wat kinda of a freakin principal r u! u think u big ar! ur size big onli. do nuttin n earn so much! na bei take my school fee go play mahjong issit! kaoz, pay so much but facilities still so bad. canteen no air con, so many birds fly here, fly there. U think funny issit!

swimmin pool so small, somemore no lady life guard. and the dance studio no ppl dancin air con still on, u think air con bill u pay one ar! waste my money on unuse air con! somemore the sports facilities oso lao ya one, basketball bo hong, squash ball buay tiao. na bei, u think funny issit!

I oso wanna tok bout the lab ar, KNN build more lab lar! free access always full. and we use to have a set of equipment each for lab but now 2 person share 1. u sell the rest issit! earn profit still raise school fee! u outside earn so much then still kapok our school fee. Ke si ar! u so good then go SP lar.SP big school and more students, u can exploit them wat. u think TP students hao qi fu ar! Burn ur car then u know. So rich ar, employ a security to "protect" ur car somemore still got 1 video cam. u think u drive sports car or Limo?! u car onli Nissan Sunny, act machiam like very high class like tt. Ppl drive Benz oso park outside ar.

All Poly got fast food except TP, u go build 1 fast food resturantlar...damn pai seh u noe, ppl always make fun TP no fast food. Carona oso bo yong... u keep so many Kois for wat, u think our school fee for u to buy Kois ar!

i hope that u charge less (better if no need pay school fee).Otherwise undesirable action will be taken against you and your damn car!.

from a very buay song student,
T0uy@ Ak|r@

Before and After

Do consider before making the commitment. Seek the elderly for advice.

* Before marriage.. I die for you..
* After marriage.You die, up to you.
* Lagi lama married.. You die I help you!

* Before marriage.. You go anywhere..I follow you.
* After marriage...You go anywhere..up to you.
* Lagi lama married...You go anywhere...better get lost!!

* Before wedding -
* "you are my heart, you are my love"
* After wedding -
* "you get on my nerves."

* Before wedding -
* "you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella"
* After wedding -
* "you are worse than godzila."

* Before wedding -
* Roses are red, violets are blue
* Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
* After wedding -
* Roses are dead, I am blue
* You get on my head, I will sue you

* Before wedding -
* Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
* After wedding -
* You want to go, he says you wait-long-long-la

* Before wedding -
* She looks like Anita Sarawak
* After wedding -
* Don't know whether katak or biawak

* Before wedding -
* Weekends at Cameron, Genting and Fraser's Hill
* After wedding -
* Furthest you go is Bukit Timah Hill

* Before wedding -
* He opens the car door
* After wedding -
* He opens his mouth and snores

* Before wedding -
* She / he was your ideal
* After wedding -
* She / he becomes your ordeal

* So beware of the consequences

MyKad ( The Scary Future )

This is quite funny & can also consider it to be scary.... check it out.

THE NAKED CARD(15/07/03)- The multi-purpose MyKad is the latest version of our perpetually metamorphosing IC. With an embedded smart chip, it can also store our medical history, driver's license, act as an ATM card, serve as
an electronic purse and even be used at the National Library. However, a recent experience by a holder brought to light the questionable control on access, potential information abuse and privacy infringement. As the belated debate rages on, I can foresee a likely scenario when ordering pizzas in the near future...

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Rumah Attap. May I have your..."
Customer: "Haloo, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your MyKad number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold on...... 6102049998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Dhaljeet Singh and you're
calling from 17 Jalan Awan Hitam, off Jalan Ipoh. Your home number is 4094 2366, your office 7645 2302 and your mobile is 014 266 2566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?"
Operator : "We are connected to the MyKad system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family sized ones then, how much will that cost?
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is 99.99 Ringgit..."
Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you're owing your bank 6720.55 Ringgit since October last year"
Customer: "Mera Lund Choong..." [Translation]
Operator : "That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan Sir.

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: "Kuti!" [Translation]
Operator : "According to the details in your MyKad, you own a Comel Scooter, ...registration number WOB 1123..."
Customer: "Tera peh thenoo picheyo kush karda hunda!" [Translation]
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"

Customer: [Speechless]
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Global Jokes

The largest study into global humour has come up with the
following most popular jokes. As part of an experiment by Laugh Lab, the organization behind the project, 70 people from around the world submitted their best jokes and rated those sent in by others during the course of a year.

Here are the Top 10 :-

Top joke in UK:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says "That's the ugliest baby that I have ever seen. Ugh!". The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her "The driver just insulted me!" The man says "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead. I'll hold your monkey for you."

Top joke in USA:

A man and a friend are playing golf. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows down in prayer. His friend says "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever see. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

Top joke in Canada:

When Nasa first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300oC. The Russians used a pencil.

Top joke in Australia:

A woman rushes in to see her doctor, looking very worried and all strung out. She rattles off "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out and I had this corpselike look on my face. What's wrong with me, doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes and then calmly said "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with youreyesight...."

Top joke in Belgium:

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

Top joke in Germany:

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say "That's not it" and puts it down again. This went on for some time until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said "That's it."

Top joke in England:

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams "I slept with your mother!" The bar goes quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first one again yells "I slept with your mother!" The other says "Go home, Dad, you are drunk."

Top joke in Wales:

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know - it all happened so fast."

Top joke in Scotland:

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers!

Top joke in Northern Ireland:

A doctor says to his patient "I have bad news and worse news." The patient asks "Oh dear, what's the bad news?" The doctor replies "You only have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible" said the patient and added "How can the news possibly be worse?" The doctor replies "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

Naughty Poems

|*NaUgHtY PoEmS*|

POEM # 1

I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass

POEM # 2

Im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother fucker to put me down

POEM # 3

Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn

POEM # 4

Guys are like roses,
Watch out for the pricks.

POEM # 5

Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a slut.

POEM # 6

Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.

POEM # 7

Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.

POEM # 8

Sex is when a guys communication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration

POEM # 9

Men are like public toilets
They are either engaged or full of shit!

POEM # 10

If guys had they periods
They would compare the size of their tampons!

POEM # 11

Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN!

POEM # 12

Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very slowly,
if you kiss me,
dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!!
Poem #13

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...
I'm In Love But Not With You...
When We Broke Up You Thought I Cried
But All It Was...
Was Another Guy,
You Told Your Friends That I Was A Trick,
I Told Mine That You Had A Weak Dick...
I Said I Loved You
And You Thought It Was True,
But Guess What Baby?!
You Got Played Too!!

Poem #14

Guys are like parking spots...
the good ones are always taken...
and the ones that are available,
are either handicapped or too far away!! *Darny*