Y The Chicken X The Road?

QUESTION - Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:
To get to the other side.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

RONALD REAGAN:
I forget.

ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was

threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was

faced with significant challenges to create and develop

the competencies required for the newly competitive

market. Andersen, in a partnering relationship with the

client,helped the chicken by rethinking its physical

distribution strategy and implementation processes.Using

the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped
the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge,

capital and experiences to align the
chicken people, processes and technology in support of

its overall strategy within a Program Management

framework.

RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken

did NOT cross the road.

COMPUTER PROGRAMMER:
In order for the chicken to cross the road safely they

not only need one driver to access the server farm if

not they will hang in the middle of the road.

JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone

ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing

walking around all over the place, anyway?"

BILL GATES:
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which

will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your

important documents,and balance your checkbook.

MAHATHIR:
You know, I am tired of all this..'apa-nama' chicken-

chicken bisnes....the foreign powers should stop

intervening in our domestic affairs and just leave our

chickens alone..... if they want to...'apa nama' cross

the road, they should be allowed to cross the road ..

Malaysia is a democratic country,we let our chickens do

whatever they want to do.... as long as they don't

threaten the Malay unity and try to topple the

government...and if
they plan to do so...we won't hesitate to use the ISA...

ABDULLAH BADAWI:
Ini semua adalah khabar angin sahaja...jangan percaya

khabar-khabar angin ini semua... biasalah ini adalah

taktik pembangkang untuk memecah belahkan perpaduan ayam

- ayam semua...jangan percaya..jangan percaya....

SAMY VELLU
ayyooyoo...belakang cerita lain kali, kita sude bikin

banyak jembatan, itu ayam musti guna jembatan untu

lintas itu jalan lagi pun kalu itu ayam mau pigi jalan-

jalan,beritau sama saya juga, saya bolley buat lebbey

banyak toll........

KARAM SINGH VALIA:
Seperti yang saudara dapat lihat, kelihatan ayam-ayam itu

Sedang melintas jalan, mereka bukan sahaja melintas

jalan Malah membuang najis di atas jalan dan ini adalah

pencemaran Yang paling hebat di maya pada ini.Bapa-bapa

dan ibu-ibu Ayam haruslah mengambil inisiatif untuk

melatih ayam-ayam Agar menahan najis sewaktu melintas

jalan, sekian saya Sudahi dengan.........

Ayam di jalan di lintaskan
Ayam di reban mati tak makan

COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?

BILL CLINTON :
I've had so many chicks, I can't remember...

This is wut i call guts

Prime Ministers from USA, UK and Singapore were travelling on a warship that was cruising near S.Arabia. The 3 were talking about how brave their soldiers were when their cordial discussion
soon turned into an argument where each wanted to prove the bravery of their own soldiers.

The Pres. of USA said, "let me show u what is guts",where upon he called his Colonel and said "Jump into the sea and swim 3 rounds around this ship!". The Colonel replied "Anything for Uncle Sam, Sir", and jumped into the shark infested sea and swam 3 rounds around the ship, with the sharks chasing him like mad! After the successful 3 rounds, the Colonel came up to the deck and
said,"I did it for Uncle Sam Mr.Pre sident!". The proud US President replied "That's what I call guts!".

The Prime Minister of UK became aggressive and quickly called his General and said "General, jump into the sea and swim 10 rounds around this ship!". The General replied "Anything for the Queen, Sir", and jumped into the shark infested sea and swam 10 rounds around the ship, with the
sharks chasing him frantically. After the successful 10 rounds the 3-star General came up to the deck and said, "Long Live the Queen!". The proud UK PM replied "That's what I call guts!"

The Prime Minister of Singapore cannot control himself. He had to show that his soldiers have it too. He called one of his Private and & said "Soldier, jump into the sea and swim 15 rounds around
this ship!". The Private replied "Oi, you siao (crazy) izzit?" I juz bought my 4-room and I am paying through my nose. Now, U want me to jump and die, eh? If u want to hao lian (show off), you jump into the sea yourself! The Singapore PM smiled and said "Now, that's what I call guts!".

Origin of F.U.C.K

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight" came from!

The "rule of the thumb" is derived from an old English law that stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honeymoon."

In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had the consent of the King(unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King & he gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K. (Fornication Under Consent of King) on it. Now you know where that came from .

Interesting to learn English, aint it?

Language Jokes

Condom says to Kotex, "When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months!"

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A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have your tits on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"

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A black guy and a white girl met at a nite club. She took
him to her apartment and said: "tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!" so he ran off with the TV and VCD...

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Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!"

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A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown. Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")

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A lady visited her doctor one morning. Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"

---

Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is
bathing.....
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied: "MASTURBATING."(master bathing)

1st Grade Student

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question.

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: "Coconut."

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: "Shake hands."

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."

Friends and Fellows,
I'd like to share all the forwarded jokes I've collected in my archives with you from today onwards. Hope you people like it. Do send me jokes that you'll like me to publish here